Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Ehoh=)
I know I havent been updating my this for like one whole week or something.
Sigh.
It's been busy, and I hardly have time to reflect.
Come to think of it, I have no topic for this entry.
I was just listening to "where is the love?" by the black eyed peas
And I felt that there was a section of their lyrics that really put a meaning past me

"whatever happened to the values of humanity?
whatever happened to the fairness and equality
instead of spreading love we spreadin animosity
lack of understandin leading us away from unity
that's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin under
that's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin under
gotta keep my faith alive till love is found"

Yeah, you know, there aren't many rappy songs such as this that actually
Have a proper theme that even carries a meaningful morale, well sorta.
And how often is it that you really agree to what songs nowadays?
Well, I don't know about you all,
But I think songs nowadays are getting more and more meaningless.
Crash some pots and pans
Drop a metal bucket from the twentieth storey
And you call that music.
Hmm. Anyway, I just dont get it really.
Anyone, care to enlighten me?
I think the old songs are better anytime.

Posted by Jamie at Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Thursday, November 20, 2003

A new dawn arises.
Are they always meant to be so majestic?
Beams of light cast over the sleepy horizon
So ravishing and ever significant?
Sigh.
Sometimes I really wonder how practical is it
For people to keep looking on
Looking to the future and expecting the unexpected?
Attempts at being optimistic have been useless
As usual.
All I can expect is an empty portal.
The very mention of it
Stirs a sense of helplessness in hearts of many.
Yet,
Where else have I to go?
Is it not peaceable for an ickle being
To express oneself in anger?
In tears?
Isn't that just too stereotypical?
I'm sorry.
I just can't help the fact that
I can no longer have the faith to trust in this
Morale called
Hope.
How much hope can there be in depths of
Nothing more than murky water?
A sensation spread through you
Telling you that the particles in the water
Are merely dust particles
If not, dirt.
Why not Specks of gold?
Miniscule drops of diamond?
It's all about Hope.
How much of it can be found in Murky waters?
How likely is it to find gold- let alone diamond
In those waters unworthy of Hope?
We all know it.
It's not possible to trust in it.
So someone tell me
How can I trust
In this thing
Called
Hope?

Posted by Jamie at Thursday, November 20, 2003

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Aloha=)
Sigh.
Life can be so depressing sometimes, you know?
Just a fraction of a second ago, the sea was a sheet of cool glass
In the next fraction of a second later,
The sea just errupts in Aquatic-flames!
Well, sorta.
And life just doesnt fit its parcel
Nothing's going through its right course!
But thankfully
There's this amazing thing
Always there to pull you through tough times-
Hope.

My parents will be leaving for a three-week trip to England
And I suppose they'll be touring
The rest of the areas around there too.
They asked me to tag along
But I guess I'd rather stick around here
So Many things to do!
Anything you all want my parents to bring back from Overseas?

So many people have lives in distress,
Not having any sense of direction to wander to
Having no one to confide in when they need them the most
It's all such a nightmare.
Nothing works right in this world anymore
Even if we do cling on to hope,
How sure of hope can we be?
Is hope enough to suffice through these times?
All hope in my life would have been non-existant
If not for that strand of thread it hangs by.
Hopeless.

Posted by Jamie at Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Something's just not right.
What is that one thing missing?
That one thing that makes me so close yet so far?
So close to content?
So far from being satisfied?
Who cuts a channel for the torrent of rain,
and a path for the raging thunderstorms?
Holidays serve that Purpose I suppose.

I can't help but think that my life is so spartan
Isn't the saying:
"Friends for life"
SO much more than simply Oh-so-commonly-used?
Tell you what.
I figured, Friends are really meant to spice up life
But a Life without Friends,
Is worth nothing much.
In fact something tells me its not exactly worth living for.

I miss the early mornings whereby
Yusheng and I have to scream the class out,
Rush down the rotunda,
Get settled down in the parade square,
Have a whole lotta trouble getting the attendance done
Figuring out who's the missing sheep?
Who's the absentee?
Who still owes Miss Tan an MC?
Sigh. Time flies when you're having fun.
I said it.
Life's so stale without you guys man
All the rivers run dry
As the fun runs out
Holidays.
What are they for?
Solid time for a whole year's worth of reflection?
Hmm.
Slack-time.
Lazing on the couch.
Eye's paralysed in front of the television screen twentyfour-seven?
Sleeping at three,
Waking up to eat your lunch?

It sounds so
...
SLOBBISH!

Yet, actions do speak louder than words.
Is it so easy to keep working?
Doing your holiday assignments?
Achieving that sense of satisfaction temporarily
Before you carry on,
Continuing to grow white hair
Devouring Sec 2 textbooks one after another?
Or maybe even simultaneosly?

I don't know.
What do i want now?
To get down to some serious work?
Or to persist on behaving like a sloth?
I guess I really din't know.
Balance.
It's all about Balance.

Posted by Jamie at Sunday, November 16, 2003

=Inspirational=

Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea?
Or walked in the reccesses of the deep?
Have the gates of Death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?
Have you comprhended the vast expanses of the Earth?
Tell me if you know all this.

Job 38:16-18

Posted by Jamie at Sunday, November 16, 2003

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Schazam.
I've been blog hoppin not long ago, and it seems that
Lotsa people've aren't scared to express what they really want to
I mean, how easy is it to say that you like someone?
What more admit it in public in a sense?
Wow.
I really admire those people out there man.
Such courage could never be found in me.
Not even if yout ried to exhort it or what not.
I have problems myself admitting that I even like someone.
That I have fallen for him?
Why me?
I thought I was insumissable to such childish doings.
Crushes? Infatuation?
Now I know.
They actually have a place in life.
Lesson learnt?
Nope.
Just that I might really have to think twice, or three times
Before I indulge myself in such a thought
That one person such as him
Can have the ability to affect such change in me.
My mind is crowded,
Can't stop to think without hindrance anymore.
What to do?
God help me.

Posted by Jamie at Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Monday, November 10, 2003

Ello=)
I think I should be considered as a casualty in dance.
Whoh. Practice yesterday, Sunday, and on saturday...
All the way till-Err-I don't know when.
But I'ts really tiring man! Haha=D
Let's see. Hmm.
Aching:
-Feet
-Toes
-Butt [Result of falling so many times when doing gym*ouch]
-Thighs
-Arms
-Ab. Muscles
.
.
.
.
Broken/Torn:
-One fingernail
-Scab of skin [Result of falling so many times when doing gym*ouch]

That's about all the casualties I can identify on myself.
Haha=P No pain no gain!!!Yeehah!
But there's still more to brace myself for!!!
Four more days!
We're gonna be doing a dance item under the heat of spanish influence!
Sounds chilly-red HOT doesn't it?
Yep! Spanish music? Spanish Beats?
It's livin' for the movements!
But wait.
The moves are a little more than just plain expressive.
The way I see it,
It's WAY expressive!
[Hint*That's another reason why my butt hurts so much=P]
We've gotta co-ordinate hand movements, swing movements
Hip movements, Legs, Feet, Arm movements, Eye contact
Head movements...blah.
I suppose our trainer wants us to be a little bit more sassy or
[urgh] sexy.
eww. I know it sounds realy bad, but what can I say?
Dance IS all about expression.
We'll be performing on on the 1st of december in school,
And on the 7th somewhere else.
Haha=P
Anyway, I have to go now, I think I've been hogging the computer for
A lilttle too long.
Shouldn't I be a kind soul and let my Brother have a go?
Hee. Maybe I shouldn't.
Hmmm. Then again, I wouldn't like to be in danger of the
Possibility of being up against my troll-sized Bro!
So, I'll see you next time!
Till then
Auf Wiederholen!

Posted by Jamie at Monday, November 10, 2003

Friday, November 07, 2003

So many times have I heard myself say
"I won't let anyone down."
Or sometimes even
"I swear I'll do better next time"
Was it the essence of my heart deep within?
Or was it something said for the sake of myself?
Was I paralysed by reality?
How far have I strayed?
'Live and let live'?
Who had ever proven that theoretically positive?
What did I lose?
How much of it have I already lost?
Someone tell me. Please.

Posted by Jamie at Friday, November 07, 2003

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

You know,I've really been thinking for a long time.
[Long enough to ignore updating for just about a week!]
I really have no idea what the world is made up of.
Is it made of trust?
Love?
Faith?
Luck?
Come to thing about it,
I have absolutely no idea!
I don't get it when people say "I'm not good enough for the world"
or "My life's not worth living in this world"
Is the world that bad? Or is it that sadistic?
Sadistic enough to make people think that the life God gave them is worth
Nothing and nothing more than sheer misery?
Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that its perfect or anything,
But it can't be THAT bad
Or can it?

You see all that? Up there?-
Was what I thought a long long long time ago.
I can't believe I was that adolescent living in a world of lies
Trusting so many things that were worth
Nothing more than a piece of tissue flying away.
I never knew the world was of such capacity to hold so many liars,
So many people unworthy of this value called trust,
And the overwhelming population of hypocrites.
Take friends for example.
How many do I have?
Millions.
How many can I trust?
I have no idea. No idea at all.

An anonymous so obnoxiously cunning,
So as to take credit for literally everything I've done.
She's really good you know.
Everyone thinks of her as an elite.
Sometimes, even I.
But do they all know what I do?
So many times I've been taken by Pleas of help.
I gave in, I tried my best to help her, really I did.
But at the end of the day,
"Yeah, I really tired myself out doing this without any help."
Sometimes, it just makes me feel so lousy inside.
The uncountable times that I've been cheated?
Taken for granted?
The feeling that I'm never gonna learn.
It's always the dummy-Jamie that falls when she needs help.
I thought it was inevitable.
I wouldn't be surprised if she did classify me under her specie of
" Someone always there for me"
Yeah. I have always been there for you alright. Just never known.
Well, its alright.
The worlds' never too harsh on one. Never can be-I hope.
I'll never have to think twice about lending you a helping hand,
What are friends for?
But I'll tell you first.
I HAVE learnt a lesson.
I'm not saying
That "I'll hate you for life."
Or "I'll have to be careful with this one."
But that I hope this won't, and never will, change anything between us.
And that I'm praying this will help strengthen this friendship we share.
Last and definitely not the least of what I have to say to you
In utmost sincerity,
Thank you for teaching me this lesson.

Posted by Jamie at Tuesday, November 04, 2003