Sunday, March 26, 2006

Rudely in Love, says he..

Jamie,

Destiny of our togetherness may be so new
Our past has given the quest for someone like you
Now we found each other through many
The journey has ended at last
Now our lives have just begun
As I reach out and hold your hand
That feeling of bliss fills my soul
I cherish each moment hoping for the next
Feeling my reasons to give you more
I cherish you for what we have
My love for you will only grow.

Love,
-

Friendship is a wonderful thing,
Oh the mirth to us it brings.
But now I know its not the same
And I think i'm in love all over again(:

this crazy little thing called love,
Jamie(:

heartheartheartheart

Posted by Jamie at Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Nur Nach dir der Christus laufe ich.

Aufblick des Zukunft

Our promise made, us little trio
To meet in thirty years to be,
To bring our family, perfect spouse
In time to come yes, we shall see.

And so the first assessment week has finally passed, we all heave great sighs of relief. Now delivered into our one week break, we taste our first weekend of slow-tempo life. Whether or not it really is a break, is quite another thing. After this, the vicious cycle of school life continues. And assessment week comes again. And then a break. What comes after? When we run out of assessment weeks to count? when we run out of ip years to look back on? What comes after?

Sag mal, was kommt danach? Danach kommt unsere Zukunft. Futura, Ungewissheit, Niete.

Talk of the future scares me. It cannot be that as a girl of mere fifteen, I suffer from mid life crisis. can it? Endulging in the nostalgia the mellow oldie soundtracks brought back, we three sat. We sat and we talked. We spoke of what we would be at thirty. We spoke of what we would be doing in ten years. We spoke of what would happen after that. A question to you glorious public, does the futre scare you?

Perhaps it would not be such a tassle if you already had a plan in mind. To marry off by 20, become a rich man's wife by 21, have kids by 25, and live as a rich taitai after 30. On a more idealistic note, we could be thinking of becoming doctors, lawyers, professors, mangers or presidents. But what if i dont have any of these in mind? Because I dont. And that scares me.

It scares me to think i am aimlessly bummig around, slogging off for each assessment week, one after another, never coming to realise that one day there will be no more assessment week to work toward. What then, will i be working towards? A career?

But I have no career in mind. Well, I have too many careers in mind, more like. I have no forte, I show no examplary conduct in anything whatsoever. I can't even picture myself in a smart businesss suit strutting down a classy corridor, into a posh office. Can you? What would become of me then?

Factoring the future of what was to come,
Could we three really think of one?
The turbulence of change and time-
Tell me now, which career is mine?

And as we spoke, we thought of what we could be. "...You would be the insurance seller, she would be the paediatrician, and i would be... i would be a UN Ambassador." But then again, is that really what I want? Can you imagine doing that one thing for the rest of your life?

Then the talk of which career was the hardest, arose. Which career is the most demanding? Is it the career which give you the biggest wham of stress? Could it be decided by the pay you get? The number of hours you work a day? Its benefits? - to be dined and wined when in a Public Relations sector? To see the smiles of the patients you save? Which career?

Stress, it is subjective to each individual. Everyone will be placed under an unspoken force of pressure, wherever you go, whichever career you decide on. You may find yourselves bitching about your slutty boss, oh how she extorts you of your labour. You may be entangled in the web of office politics, again bitching, only this time about your scheming, manipulative collegues. Buying your way around the office with soft, deceitful smiles, being backstabbed, doublecrossed, and hated by envious "fellow acquaintances". People of the labour force suffer splitting headaches, they whine about their 12hour-5day work week in all righteousness... but all that is really alright. It is alright, really. Because they are, at least, paid.

Jede Beruf kam mit vorteile, jede Beruf kam mit seinen Kosten.

Society ranks it's cream as the ministers, the nation's strongholds. Ranks equate salaries. Salaries are considered, by the oblivious man, reflections of just how vexing your job is, and just how much it demands. But if we take a closer look at the society, there are people who aren't getting what they slog and toil for.

This may sound rather random and unbearably shallow, but I believe the most demanding career there ever is, is to simply be a Homemaker. Or what people more affectionately term as "Houswife". A homemaker does alot more than the name would ring. It is required of a homemaker, -an examplary homemaker- to be multi-effecient and extremely versatile.

My mom, she is in our home, a manager of our finances, a counsellor to her two children who plague her constantly with the woes of teenage life. She is an interior designer who decides on where to place that vase. She juggles amazingly the chores of the house, always ensuring clean, crisp clothes in our wardrobes, always ensuring sumptious food on the dining table. Yes, she is but a housekeeper, an excellent chef, and dietricion too. She takes on the cloaks of a judge, to issue punishment for what has been justly proven as misbehaviour. A judge is stern and a judge is impartial. But a judge too has feelings. A judge knows the pain of each sentence in his verdict. He feels that pain too.

She is knowledgable of what medicine to take, a doctor who has the interests of her patients at heart. My mom is too, a teacher, who sits us down for serious work. She imparts priceless knowledge from the books of life, she instills values and morals which give her children the backbones of virtue. She exposes her children to the rawness of life, lifting that curtain bit by bit, guiding us through each step we take, into the dawn, into the light. She is the president of the land which is home to her household and family. But above all things, she is a selfless warrior, who fights in the name of love, who stands strong for her children and her husband, who is a tower of refuge, a safety net, a guardian angel and a silent watcher.

Yes above all things, she is a selfless warrior who is always there in her 24hour-7day workweek, willing of all sacrifice, in no request of return in wage or pay. Her benefits? - A blessed home and a happy family.

What more could a career seeking woman like me ask for?
The chance to take on and prove myself worthy of every job in the world, to mould and watch my children grow up and see the world from their eyes, to be there for a husband who loves me, to let him know that i love him too. The most rewarding career could very well be this. To live life and let live, knowing that my career has been a meanigful one. That it was worth every splitting headache, every tear shed, every sacrifice made.

Was is nicht, kann doch noch werden.

What is not, can still come to pass. The future brings to me nothing but a blank. But i guess its better to have a motivation in mind, whilst bumming around and slogging off for my grades. It will all be worthwhile.

And so as we three sat,
indulging in the playing mellow oldies,
We agreed on a pact
Which would bind us till our thirties-
To meet again after going our ways,
For the reminiscence of our golden days,
When future was but uncertainty
And only time could tell...

We'd look at ourselves and chuckle at the present
For the future had, after all, went well.

Retiring for the night,
Jamie.

Posted by Jamie at Sunday, March 12, 2006