Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Limmericks of the Unrelinquished.
Ip2s at Njdanceparty'06. Yes i love you guys ( :

I hate the way you contradict both word and action, it warps my better soul. I ask to be friends, for a better cause, are you to be my foe?

Here she comes, with her head held high, i can't help but stare at my feet. A dancer to dust, as good as she is, can this leader really lead?

I see him down the corridor and tell myself, its over. Good looks are but a God-given gift, still, do they decide what's under?
This bunch, they are without a doubt, the most sassy things i've seen. Some are true and some are real, but will they ever come clean?
Her gentleness reminds me of, what i perpetually forget. My friend, dear one i thank you, for now I'll live and let.
Somethings in life are the formulas to undeniable joy, some other things and seasonal flings show life is but a toy.
My friends, I wish to one and all, a hearty sigh's polite , the dark has drawn a closure's horn, tarra, farewell, goodnight.
Maybe I'll never learn,
Jamie.

Posted by Jamie at Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Saturday, January 21, 2006

In His Fervor and Mine.

It was once that a little girl saw the world as the saddest illusion ever existing. She saw no light, and no hope fell into her spectrum of sight. In her world, the skies were grey and threatening, every living creature was evil and every plant was poisonous. There was no place for hiding, no web of warmth. Every human was just like the last, blank and unfeeling. Yes, this little girl lived in sad world. It was a world with no colour, a world with no hope, a world with no love.

One day as she trudged along a small path, something in the distant grey caught her gaze. She saw something which set her puzzled. She saw a light. It was a bright glowing beam of radient light... so very magnificent and glorious. The little girl had never seen anything like this before.. it was odd..yet, mysteriously captivating... She edged toward the light, as though she were under the trance, mesmerized..

Somehow it felt so right.. That warm radient glow, it was the fuzzy feeling she had never felt before in her cold world of stone. The glorious and rich colour of this fabric of light... embracing her, melting her heart. Suddenly, all her worries and troubles felt so far away..they didn't seem to matter anymore. In fact, nothing mattered anymore... not her hectic life, not her relationships and issues of such... nothing mattered.. so long she could be safe within this enticing comfort. The little girl closed her eyes and felt the fullness of life run through her veins. She could feel warm blood gush through every bit of her body, spreading a very warm tingly sensation throughout. Everything was so... perfect. She fell deeper and deeper into the intoxicating web of pure nothingness. And then she heard a voice.

"My child, I have been waiting for you.. Why have you turned away from me?... Did you not know that I was always by your side?..."

"... ..."

"...I would never leave you, nor forsake you. My promise to you is and always will be, true, "

"... ..."

"Come my child, it is time.Draw near... light the fire again."

"Oh Father, what have you in plan for me?" asks the little girl.

He smiles.

The little girl squinted her eyes. It was all so distant.. a dream too real for illusion. Too pleasant for fad. Struggling, she opened her teary eyes. But something was different.

She looked down at the small dirt path she stood on. It was different. What was that word again? ...colour.. that was it. colour. Unbelieving, she squatted down abruptly, feeling the ground under her feet. It was...warm. It had texture. it was all sandy and rough, yet, very pleasing and oh it was.. coloured? Amazed, she jumped up and scanned her surroundings. She was stunned. Her world had turned techni-colour.. and skies were blue and the sun beamed down proudly at the beautiful picture.. It was beautiful. The world was beautiful.

"Come my dear one, it is time."

The little girl looked up, managed a smile while still in shock, and found herself staring at the face of love. His face was gentle, it radiated a simple serenity and indestructable peace. She knew she would be safe with Him. One this fateful day, that little girl found her bliss. That little found her angel. That little girl found her solace. And that little girl, was me.

"Come now, the world awaits you."

I placed my hand in his, and together, we strolled down the small dirt path, into the Sunset, and into a new world.

Light the fire again,
Jamie.

Posted by Jamie at Saturday, January 21, 2006

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Fascinating happenings in my mundane life:

Thursday:
1) I cried in Mr Eng's MA2101 class. He was telling us about his "backside-itchy moments" (its a mathematical term). Eesha and I laughed so hard that when Mr eng asked if i was okay, i started going hysterical again. this is not good.

2) I took out my Crescent Uniform again, after it had been collecting dust in my closet. This would be the first time in 1.5 years.

Yesterday:
1) Pif totally brought the house down during LDP presentation at SMU. I love you guys! Go PIF! we will rule the world.

2) I started to realise how complex and fascinating some RI guys from LDP actually are
- Shihui's Aaron
- Powerhouse's Auyong
- Our dear Royce

3) Our group was the noisest most laughabouteverything-ish group there. And kenneth (big TA ken) was so very embarrassed, but laughed with us anyhow

4) Friday the 13ths are my lucky days. It was a suan-free day. kenneth wasn't there;) OH JOY.

5) Shihui is a very funky cool person. And very fun to talk to too :D

6) Dance party was a blast

7) We went high and dirty-danced, walked JLC-led catwalks, and partied our hearts out

8) I MADE SEAH GIMLIM KISS RUSSEL ON THE LIPSSS. *squirms with laughter* ooh i'm goood.

9) I took many porn photos of zhirong shaking his rear at the camera trying (very hard) to be horny ( but failed miserably), not posting them would be doing him (and all of us) some good.

10) Seah, shihui and I were stalking the smooching tiger sucking dragon

11) My mom and dad tried to crash the dance party too

Today:
1) My piano teacher said i improved (and i didnt touch the piano since the last lesson). I must have been practicing in my sleep.

2) I went for dance at Arab street at Nor's studio and was, OF ALL MALES, Dismas.

3) I gossiped and talked bimbo talk with the J2 dancers over some famous yummilicious prata and heard about...

4) I was shocked

5) I had tuition and my tuition teacher thinks i am too busy for a fifteen year old (and i quote) " young adult" hah! take that mom! Mr tan thinks im a young adult!!! And you can't even touch the wind chime at our front gate!! whoohoo!

6) I went to chinatown with my family and we made alotta noise there

7) We saw the prosperity dude guy with lopsided, elongated mickeymouse ears holding his plastic golden nuggets (cai shen ye). My mom couldnt stop laughing and we dared my dad to pull his beard

8) My dad eventually suggested something worse ;P

9) We bought goodies

10) I demanded to come home as i had enough of smelling other peoples' armpits and bo.

11) My dad started singing in the car

12) He didnt stop till we reached home

13) We almost died of hysterical laughter

Quote of the day ( abstract from Njdanceparty 06):
I MUST! I MUST! I MUST INCREASE MY BUST!
(and no mom, papaya juice really isnt effective.)

till you get back,
Jamie (:

Posted by Jamie at Saturday, January 14, 2006

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Jewels are cut from more than precious stone.
Jewels are cut from more than precious stone.
A life, too, is cut to catch the light.
No beauty is refracted when a lone, I
solated stranger rides the night.
Can you be jewels to each other's sun?
Each needs a light to shine upon the heart,
Awakening the loveliness that one
Never could reveal if still apart.
Do, then, both shine and give refraction,
So you may be both source of light and jewel.
Have each the strength to translate into action
A love that is both sparkling fire and fuel.
When two are one the sun and jewel can play:
Now each heart will be the other's light display.
The stress is settling in. Its ridiculous. And sometimes i wonder why we even bother to begin with, if all this leads us to one common fate which binds us all. I've been trying real hard to juggle the many things i've gotten myself into. Well, the good news is I'm still alive. haha. My TA just sent me an application form for some wierd Young Changemakers Youth Panel thingy. Its so tempting. I mean, we get to handle situations like approving grants, sponsoring huge projects and other administrative matters. I love these kinda stuffs. And its awfully tempting to get myself into more of this, but i know im already functioning in a chaotic system so i guess the odds are against me...oh joy.
Watching my juniors and the new J1 seniors go through orientation brought back all those fond memories i had so long ago chucked at the back of my skull...I remember that esctacy we felt as a class... all the feisty cheering, looking out for each other's backs, fighting on and braving the odds and disadvantages such as being the youngest twiddlies in Njc... It was heavenly. I can't seem to find the right word to express this thought. its kinda like. touchingly together, heavenly pain in our throats with every cheer we bellowed as a class, passing strepsils around during assembly. How we never left anyone out. Not the scholars, not the quiet ones. Not one. I remember how we would all be so excited about the next day, how we'd miss our og even over the span of a night, and how we chattered every morning assembly, assuring each other that we were gonna be the best og. Class never felt more like a family. And on the same night ,tomorrow, last year, we heard our class being pronounced the best of 36 classes in Nj. we were the craziest, zaniest, most repulsive crackpots, roaring bunch of kids Nj had ever seen. That night, was pure bliss. We cried and hugged each other, screamed and jumped about. Formed congo lines and ran about screaming in the parade square, mass danced and YAH-cheered.
I remember so many things. My first year in IP. My first go at so many things. My first taste of insanity and extreme stress. My first solace and love. Its amazing how I activate my selective memory. I wish never to forget anything i have been through with my class. I wish never to forget orientation'05 days. I wish never to forget how it felt like to relive being an IP1 through the eyes of a senior watching my juniors. I wish never to forget all the treasures I have been blessed with throughout my time in Nj. And I wish never to forget 05ip02(:
What get's us through life isn't going to be decided by how well you score in IS2103 or how philosophically mesmerizing you can get.
What gets us through life?Your friends.
My friends(:
Do, then, both shine and give refraction,
So you may be both source of light and jewel.
Have each the strength to translate into action
A love that is both sparkling fire and fuel.
When two are one the sun and jewel can play:
Now each heart will be the other's light display.
Nostalgia by the rule,
Jamie.

Posted by Jamie at Thursday, January 12, 2006

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Commitment.
A commitment is a charge, a committal, a devoir, a duty, an engagement, my guarantee, a liability, a must, their need, my obligation, an ought, my pledge, my promise, my responsibility, an undertaking, a vow, my word
So,
Don't commit if you're not willing, to give your 200%.
Don't commit if you think you won't cope.
Don't commit if you think it will pass without sacrifice.
Don't commit if you intend to pull out halfway.
Don't commit if you don't expect a compromise.

I guess its high time i think about commitments, and my priorities. It's pretty mindboggling when you've gotta contemplate before making everymove. - which meeting to skip over what and why. Alot of people I know are extremely pro-active people. They do not wait for oppotunities to arrive, but instead set out to seek them. In some ways its good, and in other ways not so i believe. See, that's the problem with me. I am often enthusiastic about too many things, forgetting that i am still only human and, like everyone else, have only 24 hours a day. I become excited about plans and programmes, competitions and activities, and commit myself to them on impulse. -Which is bad.

Sometimes i really admire you guys, you know? All you people in my class and level who juggle activities so effeciently and easily. Time management? Perhaps. But I thought about it today after the om meeting and i started to finally realise how many, awfully many, things i have myself tied down to.

(in no particular ranking order)

1. My class
2. Dance
3. German
4. LDP
5. Poetry Slam
6. Odessey of e Mind
7. Toastmasters'
8. Piano (but honeslty..pfft..)
9. (and maybe) Office Apprenticeship

I think i am crazy. This is madness. And i am an IP2 this year! you know what that means? It means. I have chinese O's and on top of that Abitur of German O's! Well, mainstream people think we're lucky cos we "dont have to worry about studying or jc because you already in it waaaad. " and they have ALL the O's. Well guess what? Reality check earthlings! We don't live the sweet life.. Life isn't that fair. i think we live like there's O's every semester. gawsh.

Well, I guess i'm going to have to be prepared to compromise on something. Im not superwoman and i dont intend to be her either. (yes, especially not with that golden bra and those red undies.). It's like a big apple pie. if there are more people, the pieces will obviously be smaller...unless of course i decide a compromise has to be made...and have one superlargelyGINORMOUS piece or pie, with tiny bits of crumb left for the rest. Yep.

So guess who's gonna get the crumbs?

This is how the game is played, tables have turned, the dice once more thrown.
Oh Jamie when will you learn to just throw in the towel?
Saying no isn't really all that hard, now is it?

"Nothing to fear in God. Nothing to feel in Death. Good can be obtained. Evil can be endured."
- Epicurus
"I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In His fervor and Mine,
Jamie(:

Posted by Jamie at Wednesday, January 04, 2006